Well, it went as expected. Last night was the reading of Luke 2, prayer, singing some Christmas songs accapella, and opening most of the gifts for the adults. We all were thankful for the gifts received. I was up until 2 in the morning watching the newest Mummy movie I'd gotten from my brother-in-law and setting up the Wii to save some time in the morning.

Kids woke us up before 8 yelling Merry Christmas with much excitement in their voices, which, by the way, sounded much like nails on a chalk board. Coffee was made and we went downstairs to get the cameras ready.

The kids each sat down to their respective piles of gifts and opened some shoes and a couple of practical things. Then they each opened 5 or so wrapped boxes that contained nothing more than puzzle pieces made from paper. When the puzzle was completed, it spelled out the following message, "Merry Christmas. Your present isn't this." People underestimate the pricelessness of facial expressions. Then came the Wii controllers and the lifting of the blanket that had "just been thrown" on top of the entertainement system as if to get it off the floor.

Screams ensued. Jumping up and down like they would defy the law of gravity happened several times. In-laws laughed and parents smiled and shook their heads. The morning has been spent racing on Mario Kart and installing a dishwasher. It's humourous watching a grandmother learn how to play a modern day video game system.

It's been a good day.

Merry Christmas!

My Hatred of God

"If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." -- John 14:15

The only thing I remember from my Geometry teacher, Ms. Cappell, was if/then statements.

This was the only class I ever got an F in. And anyone from my high school can empathize with me. She was the toughest teacher there (or I'm convinced anywhere).

If/then statements have helped me define the world. It's really simple logic. If one thing holds true, then something else flows from that truth that holds true also. It's not the only kind of logic, but it's basic and simple.

It's also easy to see the negative side of things when using these statements. If the 'then' statement falls short, then the 'if' part of it is proven false. For example, if I am bald, then I have no hair. So it's implied that if I have hair, then I can't be bald (let's leave weaves and toupees out of the equation please).

A lot of Jesus' statements He made were if/then. And they're great to read if we skim over them without the negative side hitting us in the stomach.

If I love Him, then I'll keep His commandments.

If I don't keep His commandments, then. . .

Do I have the honesty with myself to actually finish that statement? Can I bear the reality of it?

If I'm am to seek truth in my life and I believe that Scripture is the ultimate source of truth in all of creation, then I have to finish it. Then I don't love Him.

Can I say I love Him when:

* I neglect my wife and kids for something "more important"

* I am impatient with people who may be less mature

* I don't love my wife as my own body

* I don't love my neighbor as myself (or even know their names)

* I don't put my mind, strength, and heart into worship

* I neglect my body with excesses

* I get frustrated with Pharisaical people in Christendom

I would have to say the answer is no. Psalm 63:3 says, "Because the loving kindness of God is better than life, my lips will praise you." So if the loving kindness of God is better than life, then it's better than anything life has to offer. So when I choose other things over His loving kindness, then I'm, in reality, showing my hatred for Him. My disdain for His glory. My rebellion towards His will and my self-glorification. I'm showing what a wretched creature I really am. I'm proving that there is a part of me that really desires to be under His wrath for eternity because I want no part of Him.

This is more severe than "no one is perfect." It goes beyond the realm of "God still loves me and He understands." This isn't bumper sticker theology. It's a hatred for His word. Man, that's hard. But I don't see where Christ gives us any other option. Love or hate. Obedience or rebellion. I can't seem to find the grey area. I can justify it. Oh, believe me, the past few years of selling cars has taught me how to justify things. That's what selling is. Justifying why someone should own your product. And I've seen it abused to rip people off. I've seen people 'justify' why they should take on more debt than they can possibly afford in order to buy something. And I've seen the biggest salesmen in the world in the church. Justifying their feelings over Scripture. Justifying their traditions over Christ-centered worship. Justifying their hatred for God. And I feel like I'm chief among them.

That's why my dependence on Christ has got to be central. That's why I have to fight for the joy that pours from Him like a massive river and not a stagnant trough. That's why I have to run, like a deer that's about to be killed by pursuing hunters, to the cross. It's all I've got.

And if it's all I've got, then I'd be a fool not to stay under it.

OK. I Saw it, now what?

Yesterday, me and my wonderful wife went out on a date. I know. Yeah, it actually happened. Since our last date was in August, it's a little surreal to me as well. But we had a nice time. The highlight for me was just being with her and no kids. All the married couples with chillins can understand what I'm saying.

The highlight for my wife was that she got to share with me something very close and dear to her heart. Something that in recent days she has grown very interested in and veerrry fond of. (I know I ended a sentence with a preposition, get over it.) So what do you ask could be so near and dear to a woman in her mid-30's heart?

The tween phenomenon, Twilight! Yes, folks that's right, Twilight. You have to understand something. My wife doesn't go to the movies. She just doesn't. Oh, she'll go occasionally and we do rent movies from time to time, but as a general rule, theaters are just not really her thing. It's my thing. I love movies and I love going to the theater by myself. It's my escape. I don't go that often, because it has to be a certain movie that I'm going to pay $9 for. (I know, another preposition) But she just doesn't get excited about that many flicks. Except for Twilight.

Now, dear reader, you may be saying, "Stacy, what's the big deal? So you guys went to see Twilight." You'd be right to underestimate the importance of me taking the time to blog about this, IF it was the first time we'd both seen it and it was just a casual, "Hey, let's go see that new show Twilight everyone's been talking about." And that's the way it was for me. But for my wife, this was the 4th time. That's right folks, the 4th time! I mean, she thinks I'm obsessive for me to watch some of my dvd's over and over. But 4 times? And it's about vampires! Vampires I say! She doesn't like vampires! She won't even watch Blade with me. Or Interview with a Vampire. And folks, I mean these are pretty wimpy kind of Vampires if you ask me. All they do is whine about their existence. "Ohhh, I'm immortal and I've been 17 for 100 plus years. Boo Hoo. I like Bella but I don't want her to get hurt. Waaaaa." Get over dude. You can kick the crap outta any body that messes with you and you're rich. Stop your dang whining!

Sorry, didn't mean to get off on a rant there. I'm sure I've just made some people mad and I'm sorry. I did like the movie. But it was just average at best. I just want someone to explain the pull this has had over my very sane and mature wife. And it's not just her. Her friends are all into this thing as well. And let me tell you all something, these are about the coolest ladies I've ever met. I mean, I think a LOT about Missy's friends. Their level headed and wise women and they are actually fun to be around. Missy can be herself around them and not feel like she'll offend anyone, because they just accept people as they are. I really find it hard to believe there are Christain women out there like that. Ahh, to be Presbyterian! At any rate, they are sucked up into this thing as well.

Now I know it sounds like I'm complaining. I'm not. I actually think it's cute to see her get into a story like this. I guess it boils down to fear. I'm actually scarred I'm gonna come home one night and she'll have a pair of wax fangs and some body glitter laying on the night stand. If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm saying.

Elections and Hurricanes

I want to discuss this past election. Man o Man what a ride! Since I'm not very sophisticated when it comes to the political scene, this blog post (to the one or two people who will read it) will probably seem naive and simple or down right retarded. But it is my humble opinion that this was the coolest thing I've seen in my lifetime as far as elections go.

I'm a conservative. I did not vote for Barak Obama. However, I really didn't like McCain either. Some of the things he's done in the past few months and some of his positions seem just as socialistic as Obama (I say "some of the things" when I can only think of one, which is the bail out.) But, since I'm not a student of political philosophy, I can't even be dogmatic on that either.

I've heard arguments on both sides of the spectrum. One saying that Obama's economical policies of adding taxes to the rich and to corporations will hurt the middle class due to employer's having to lay off people due to the extra expense of more taxes. And the other end saying that McCain's policies wouldn't help the middle class or the poor, because those two classes of income wouldn't get any tax breaks at all. I'm sure there is more to the issue of economics than just tax breaks though.

And so it goes with both sides arguing on both ends of the spectrum about everything. Foreign policy/relations, defense spending, homeland security, gun control, etc., etc. It gets very confusing for me. The only thing I know in determining what a government should do is what I've found in Scripture: 1) Promote justice and 2) Defend it's people. And even in that I'm probably missing something somewhere.

So, for me, it came down to a moral issue. I cannot support anyone who is in favor of abortions. Especially partial birth abortions. I know this could offend some people and that is not my intent of this post. I can hear voices being raised, "What about cases of rape, incest, and the health of the mother?" "You're a man and have no right to tell a woman what she can do with her body." To the first question, I don't see how it's logical to justify millions of abortions per year on the basis of 1%. That's the percentage of abortions performed for the above listed reasons. To the second, if that line of reasoning holds true then I, as a man or any man for that matter, cannot be in opposition to or in favor for a woman's right to choose. In other words, only women should vote on the issue if that logic holds true. But I bet that any militant pro-abortionist would gladly take the support of any man who supports this issue. So, again, for me, this was the issue that determined my vote. Even though I was pretty sure that Obama would win.

With that being said, a person of minority has just won the presidential election! How amazing is that! I think it says a lot about our country that this has taken place. And not only that, it was feasible that a woman could have been our vice president! We're talking history here folks! And we were a part of it! Maybe I'm wrong for feeling and thinking this way, but I do.

But here's the rub. Being as I run in the circles that I do, i.e. conservative evangelicals, I think it's funny the emphasis that has been on this election. The people I know are scared (but in their "spiritual" language, they are "concerned"). As if our ultimate future rests in the hands of Barak Obama or John McCain. It doesn't! A few years ago, when a pretty big hurricane (I can't remember which one) was on it's way, my previous pastor said this in his opening prayer one Sunday morning. "Lord, let us not fear the storm that is approaching, but let us fear the one who controls the storm." Great prayer. I believe that can be applied to any 'storm' we face. Don't be afraid, oh, I mean, concerned, about the man who leads our country. Instead be afraid (and I mean the appropriate fear) of the One who turns the hearts of men like a river where He wants.

So there. I've stood on my unimportant soap box and said my peace which has no bearing on anything. And I've proven to the world how big of an idiot I am when it comes to politics. Oh well, at least it's not raining.

Decisions of Consequence

What a week it's been. As a matter of fact, what a "4 weeks it's been." The middle of last month we got a new general manager at the dealership. Since then I've sold 7 cars. Which means I'm 10 cars behind at least. Last weekend I went to the beach for a vacation with my family. It was hands down the best vacation I've ever had. The Wednesday before I left, I got a call from my mom that my grandmother was dying and they were calling the family in. She's still around as of today and seems to be getting better. She's 95 years old and a believer, so it's sad her time is almost finished, but comforting that her life has been so long and that I'll be reunited with her in a much better reality than this one day.

This past week also found me with a decision concerning my church. I was voted to be a deacon. Now there are a lot of factors to consider with this.

Here are a few of them:
1) Am I qualified? The qualifications listed in the New Testament are not light and are not to be
taken lightly. Although many churches view these qualifications as simply suggestions, I can't
seem to help but think these are strict and final. They aren't a joke. So I've had to work
through some tough questions of myself and my family the past few days.
2) If I am qualified, do I have the time? My job demands a lot of me and my time, so I have to
make sure that I can fulfill this commitment.
3) Does my wife think I'm qualified, and does she think this is something I need to do even if
it requires more of a sacrifice for us? I've got to make sure she believes this is something to
do for the joy of our family and that she doesn't feel it's going to be a burden.

After spending a lot of time talking with people I respect and trust in their theology and biblical interpretation, I think I am qualified despite mistakes and circumstances in my past. From talking with my pastor, I think the time factor won't be a problem. And my Missy thinks I should accept and that it would be a joy for me and our family to sacrifice for this.

So the only thing I've got to do now is to decide if I want to do it. I'm pretty content right now where I'm at in life. And, to be honest, this has the potential to cause a disruption in that. It's more responsibility and it seems like it would "throw a wrench in the works". But the question isn't, "Will this disrupt my life?", because it probably will. The question is, "Will the joy to be had by sacrifice and accepting this callm out way the sacrifice?" Jim Elliot said that a man is no fool to give up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. He was speaking about salvation, but I think it applies to life post-conversion.

I don't want to sound pious here. I haven't made the decision yet. I'm still contemplating and praying. I wish I was spiritual enough to make the decision without considering all these things, but I'm not. I also know that I'll be encountering some opposition from people that think I'm not qualified because I have a divorce in my past. And that I've made some mistakes after the divorce. I'll have to have an answer for those people and live with their criticism.

But in my talking with people these past few days, someone reminded me of a great truth. I'll post more on that tomorrow.

Stacy the Sentimentalist

I guess I get a little sentimental. I think it's a flaw personally. We sentimentalize (did I just make up a new word?) everything in this country. Probably because we so brain dead that we'd rather "feel" than think. But in any case, I'm sentimental. I've been on facebook now for a week and a half. In that time I have heard from friends I haven't seen in 19 years. When I see their pictures I remember very special times for me. Like when my great uncle died while I was on a mission trip. He was like a grandfather to me and I loved him very much. Some of our group was at a laundromat when we got the news and when we got back to the church we were staying at, I collapsed on my pallet on the floor and began crying. A girl named Regina bent down and gave me this big hug and held me there while I was weeping. She cried with me because, well she was simply my friend. I've never forgot that.

I've chatted with a friend from college that I haven't talked to in a long time. He was a very big help and comfort through one of the most difficult times in my life.

I've been able to catch up with some of the kids from my youth group when I was a youth pastor and see how their lives have been progressing.

I've gotten messages from an old pastor who's teaching and preaching challenged my faith and my theological structure. He was a big influence in my life.

I've even heard from a couple of my best friend's ex-girlfriends from high school that I had a good friendship with.

And I get to watch how sweet and beautiful my wife is even in cyberspace.

This process has brought a lot of nostalgic feelings to surface. I try to fight it, but it comes out anyway. Now some of you are going to say, "Hey, there's nothing wrong with that." And to an extent you'd be right. The danger is that I want to stay there in those memories and feelings. I don't want to leave because they are comforting to me. But that's not where God wants me to live. There are so many people in my church that always speak of the "Good 'Ol Days" when our congregation reached 500 people on Sunday morning. I hear old car salesmen talk of the "Good 'Ol Days" of selling. The problem with the "Good 'Ol Days" is that they probably weren't that good. There was grumbling and complaining and heartache and struggles like there is today. Our human tendency, or maybe our cultural tendency, is to romanticise yesterday. But God has so much more in store for us today and tomorrow than we could ever hope to have gained from yesterday. If Paul forgot what was behind him and pressed on to take hold of God's better covenant with His people, then I can do no less. Of course what he was talking about was a little different than the context here, but can't the same principle be applied?

I love the times that I had in my life that God used to show me His Grace and Mercy and Love through the people I've reacquainted myself with on facebook. But, given my flaw for staying in yester year, I want to press on and strive to know the One in whose right hand are pleasures forever and ever.

My Sole Good

Oh! that I might repose on Thee! Oh! that Thou wouldest enter into my heart, and inebriate it, that I may forget my ills, and embrace Thee, my sole good! What art Thou to me? In Thy pity, teach me to utter it. Or what am I to Thee that Thou demandest my love, and, if I give it not, art wroth with me, and threatenest me with grievous woes? Is it then a slight woe to love Thee not? Oh! for Thy mercies' sake, tell me, O Lord my God, what Thou art unto me. Say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. So speak, that I may hear. Behold, Lord, my heart is before Thee; open Thou the ears thereof, and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. After this voice let me haste, and take hold on Thee. Hide not Thy face from me. Let me die- lest I die- only let me see Thy face.
Narrow is the mansion of my soul; enlarge Thou it, that Thou mayest enter in. It is ruinous; repair Thou it. It has that within which must offend Thine eyes; I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it? or to whom should I cry, save Thee? Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults, and spare Thy servant from the power of the enemy. I believe, and therefore do I speak. Lord, Thou knowest. Have I not confessed against myself my transgressions unto Thee, and Thou, my God, hast forgiven the iniquity of my heart? I contend not in judgment with Thee, who art the truth; I fear to deceive myself; lest mine iniquity lie unto itself. Therefore I contend not in judgment with Thee; for if Thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall abide it? -- St. Augustine, "The Confessions of St. Augustine"

I'm not an expert on Augustine. I know a little about the man, but I haven't read his works. I got curious and started reading some of his confessions. This quote leaped out at me. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that he articulated the problem before us and God to a tee.
It seems paradoxical, the fact that God commands the impossible act for us to love Him when we're incapable of loving. I mean incapable to the fullest extent. Not able, not willing, and not inclined. I do not want to love God in and of myself. I hated Him. I was His enemy. I wanted nothing to do with Him and therefore, by default, I wanted to go to hell. Yet I, like everyone else in the world, was commanded to love Him. But what are we to God for Him to desire us to love Him? What am I to a holy and just Creator? Augustine asked God for the only answer. Inebriate my heart. Fill my heart with God's love and salvation. Make it drunk for Him. I like that phrase. I want my heart to be drunk on God's Holy Spirit and not on wine. He calls God his "sole" good. He's the only good in this world and the only thing good for our souls.

But the problem continues after God changes our hearts. Our hearts are still small and like a ruin. My heart is not fit for the King of Glory to enter it. So Augustine asks of Him to repair it and enlarge it that God may enter. God comes in and cleanses our hearts so that He can give us the ability to love Him. He forgives and doesn't hold our iniquity against us. He frees us and chooses to love us despite our hatred of Him. When Joseph's brothers cast him into the well with the intent of murder, God had already planned their actions. He used this act so that He could save the murderers. That is the epitome of mercy. I'm going to use this sin to save the sinners. I can't fathom that kind of grace. I can't get my head around the scope and scale of that kind of mercy. Because if God didn't show that kind of mercy and grace to sinners, then who indeed could stand?

4 Weeks to Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I havent' taken a day off since April of this year. 6 days a week with maybe a few hours of early one day a week, but mostly 6 full 12 hour days is what I've been working. All for one big payoff. One weekend in time. One 4 day period to rest and recharge my batteries. It happens in 4 weeks. The first weekend in September will be a chance to forget about people, cars, "Can we meet somewhere in the middle?", and "Let us think about it and we'll call you back."

We're going to the beach. Panama City. Never been, so it'll be nice to see. I could really care less about the beach. I prefer the mountains. It's the company I look forward to. My wife and 2 youngest kids and a family from our church that I really love. I'm looking forward to fellowshiping with a guy that has very similar beliefs as me, but different enough for some good discussion. In my head I'm imagining just peace and rest and laughter and good seafood.

I hope I can keep my head in the game, but all I can do is think how much in the home stretch I'm in. Oh well. Guess by the time I move a few cars I'll forget abount sand, waves, and seafood.

Hello, my name is Stacy and I'm an addict.

I have to face facts. It's time to fess up. I'm a facebook addict. It started 3 days ago and it seems I can't stop. I get on it in the morning, during the work day, and when I get home at night. It's driving my family apart, but I just can't stop. My kids are ignored and go unfed and my wife is pouting that I'm not sitting with her on the couch.

But I can't stop. I won't stop. It's just too cool finding friends I haven't seen in 18 years! Friends I was once really close to. I love it and I'm not going to stop! Do you hear!? I'm not stopping! I'll be without a family soon. But I'll always have facebook.

Hannah's Hope Lay in Her Suffering (a sermon)

Charles Spurgeon said:
“There are circumstances of constitution, education, and surroundings which render it difficult for some very excellent persons to be cheerful: they are predestined to be known by such a name as this- “A woman of a sorrowful spirit.”

He was speaking about Hannah.
Most of us Church goin’ folk often hear about Hannah every few Mother’s Day that goes by. She is often lauded as one of the spiritual heroines that the Bible speaks about. And with good reason. She was a woman marked with emotional pain. Pain that caused her not to eat. And what was that pain?
Peer pressure. It’s that simple. Pressure from a rival wife and the canon of societal norms that existed in her day. But I’m getting a little ahead of my self.
It was still the times of the Judges. Israel had been in the promised land for many years and were constantly going through the cycle of obedience, contentment, egoism, rebellion, discipline (in the form of oppression), brokenness, rescue, and back to obedience where the cycle would start all over again. The book of Judges uses the story of the lives of a few select people to tell of God’s patience and mercy for the nation as a whole. Samuel switches gears and gets back to focusing on the details of a few people before the line of the kings begin.
Now, all of this is stemming from Genesis 3:15,
And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."
This is the verse that kicks off all of redemptive history. The first instance of the Gospel. The foretelling of Christ defeating Satan at Calvary and three days later at a borrowed tomb. Hannah was a major player in this role.

She was married to a man named Elkanah. He had one other wife than Hannah, Peninnah. This was the first of Hannah’s afflictions. Peninnah would taunt and ridicule Hannah because Hannah couldn’t get pregnant. This was a big deal in this culture. Women were expected to do two things: 1) Have a husband, and 2) Have as many children as possible. Hard to understand in our liberated society. Also hard to comprehend is polygamy. It was a norm, and although God allowed it as he did other things due to the hardness of people’s hearts, it wasn’t his perfect ideal for a family that glorifies His name. A wise man said to a Sultan once, “First, learn to live with 2 tigresses, and then expect to live happily with two wives.” Brilliant idea! There is a natural urge to be the only apple of your spouse’s eye. That is why adultery hurts the other partner so badly. Hannah was viewed as the competition with Peninnah, so Peninnah exploited Hannah’s “disgrace” to hurt her emotionally.
If we stopped with the end of verse 2, “. . . but Hannah had no children,” then we would be lost and hopeless. No reason, no logic, no purpose to her pain, just naturalism and survival of the fittest would be the only thing to cling to. And as we’ve seen over the years, that offers no joy, only impending doom. But the writer says something that makes us sit up and take notice in verse 5.
When the time for yearly sacrifice would come around, Elkanah would go to Shiloh to sacrifice. He gave portions of the sacrifice to Peninnah and all her sons and daughters. But, to Hannah, he would give a double portion, because he loved her and saw she was upset at her condition. Verse 5 says, “but to Hannah he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, (now here’s the hope!) but the LORD had closed her womb.” Why would I call that hope? Doesn’t it seem illogical to go beyond an evolutionistic view of “that’s just the way things are” to saying there is hope in the statement that God caused this affliction? I mean, if that’s just the way things are then there’s no one to blame and we can come to terms with pain and suffering. Just accept it. Turn that frown upside down! NO!!! It’s fatalistic in its very meaning! But if there is a loving and merciful God who has been showing His love to His people all through the books of Genesis and Exodus and Joshua and Ruth and Judges, then there is a reason to it! We can lift up our faces and say, “God is God and I am not! He loves those He has redeemed for His own and gives them strength and grace through trying times so that He gets the glory for it!” God predetermined Hannah’s story! It wasn’t an accident. He barren so that through her a prophet would come to anoint a fore shadow of the first born of God which is Christ! But again, I get ahead of myself.
Verses 6-7 say that Peninnah would “provoke her bitterly” every time when she would go up to Shiloh “to the house of the LORD.” Hannah would go to worship and here comes her adversary. I can’t help but think of Sunday mornings when we go to corporately worship our God and our Adversary stirs things up in our lives in order to get our minds and hearts off of the very means of grace God provides for His people.
It made Hannah cry and she became so sick, she couldn’t eat. Have you ever had such grief that your body shuts down? The days seem short and the nights eternal. I have. I went through a two week period years ago, when I couldn’t eat or sleep. I lost 20 pounds in that 2 week period. Well, Elkanah tried to do the noble thing and comfort his wife. He did the typical “guy” thing, “Well, honey, ain’t I good enough?” We try ladies, we try. We’re just too egocentric to stop and think that this may be a bigger problem than we can fix. But notice Hannah’s effort to try and make her husband feel better in verse 9. Verse 8 says that Elkanah asked her why she was crying and not eating and not sleeping. Then he asks her if wasn’t he better than 10 kids. So, she eats and drinks and goes to the place where true comfort is found. The presence of God. Ladies, let this be a lesson to you. As well intentioned as we may be, we’re still dunder heads. Your only comfort is found in God. Only he can understand exactly what you’re feeling. Hannah didn’t scream and shout, “You just don’t understand!” She simply ate, drank and ran to God.
Verses 10-18, I think, are the heart of the chapter. Verse 10 says that she was still greatly distressed and was crying bitterly. But in that moment, she made a vow. Vows were very serious especially when made at the temple. It is a very, very, very dangerous thing to make a vow to God that you don’t intend to keep. Especially at the place that represented His presence. I hear people tell me all day every day, “Sure, I’ll be there at such and such a time to look at that vehicle and if something comes up, then I’ll call you.” They never show and they never call. “If you can get me this car for this amount, I’ll drive it home now.” I make phone calls to the banks to get the interest rate down, I argue with my managers to come down on the price, I call wholesalers to get more money for their trade ins. “Congrats, Mr. Customer, you win. You’re at the price/payment you want to be at! Just initial here and I’ll get the car cleaned up for you.”
“Well, I’ve got to talk to my wife first, but I’ll let you know tomorrow.” Tomorrow comes and goes and not a peep. People make promises and vows they never intend to keep. It doesn’t matter if they’re talking with a greasy used car salesman or if they’re talking with the Pope. There’s probably some leniency breaking a promise to a car salesman, but make no mistake about it, it’s scary and dangerous to lie to God. Just ask Ananias and Saphira.
Hannah had no plans to break her vow. If God would grant her a child to remove her shame, then she would offer the child to God as a Nazarite. This was a special vow people took to separate themselves to God. It was marked by never cutting your hair, never touching a dead body (even if it was a relative), and never drinking fermented drinks. I love the fact that Hannah was giving her gift back to God. It’s not enough to pray, Lord get me out of debt. But maybe it’s something different to say God get me out of debt and I’ll give my debt payments back to you, plus my tithe. Do you see the difference?
Hannah was praying by moving her lips, but not saying anything out loud. Eli, the chief priest whose sons were very wicked, thought she was drunk and told her to put a cork back on the wine bag. How often do we see people honestly expressing their sorrow to God in church and judge them. “She shouldn’t be raising her hands! All he does is cry!” Now, I’m not an advocate of emotionalism. That is getting a crowd crying and weeping or shouting out of guilt or a “motivational pep speech” like you’re at a football rally. But, folks, every time the pastor gets up here and passionately preaches God wrath, justice, forgiveness, or mercy, he’s trying to get us emotional. God wants our emotions, He just wants to go through our heads with correct doctrine that produces humility first. If your head isn’t in the game in worship and it’s just your emotions, then a quick lunch at the Chinese buffet can change how you feel within just a few hours. But if our mentality to God’s word changes, then how we act will change which will produce different emotions in regard to our actions, because we now know in our heads that the actions or attitudes are wrong or right. Does that make sense? It’s like what Paul talked about the Law. He would have never known what sin was and how to feel about it if someone hadn’t written the Law. Once the Law got into people’s heads, then it changed how they felt about the things they had been doing. So learn by Hannah’s example, pour out your heart to God. But do it honestly. There was honesty in Hannah’s sorrow. She didn’t water it down or decide to “pull herself up by her own boot straps” to make the “most out of a bad situation. She was hurting and she was honest about before God.
She was also honest with Eli. If I’m having a bad day, then people know it. Mostly by my face. I’ve never been able to hide my emotions because I wear it on my face. People see it. Then they ask, “Are you ok?” I realize I’ve been caught, so I say, “Oh yeah, I’m fine, just thinking.” Hannah laid it on the table to her spiritual leader. “I am a woman oppressed in spirit.” The word ‘oppressed’ in Hebrew comes from a root word that means “to be hard, severe, or fierce.” There was a fierceness in Hannah’s suffering. In the 1960’s, the African American community was fighting for their civil rights and against the oppression of the laws of the land. A lot of you remember that time. Since I wasn’t even a thought then, I can’t even imagine the tension that existed. Having talked with some of the leaders of that movement here in Birmingham and speaking with many people from both sides, I can feel, if that’s the right word to use, the frustration of being oppressed from someone else. There is a sense of that in Hannah’s use of that word. That there was no way out of this misery and heartache. There are worse heartaches though. I believe that the loss of a child would be far greater than the absence of one. We can all probably think of a dozen scenarios that would be worse than Hannah’s, perhaps some of you have been through worse. But it’s the fact of her distress, not necessarily the cause.
Evidently, this caused Eli to shut up, because all he said was basically go in peace and I hope God grants your request. I don’t know how to argue Hannah’s reaction. All the text says is that she left, ate, and was no longer sad. I say I don’t know how to argue it because I don’t know if it was God alone who caused her not to be sad or if it was God working through Eli’s simple reply that lifted her countenance. The text doesn’t tell us. We just know that her sorrow was replaced with peace. Her suffering with at least contentment.
So. I had a Bible professor that once told me when you’re speaking on a text, at the end, all the audience is asking is, “So what?” What does all this mean and how does it apply to our walk with God? The rest of the story, as Paul Harvey would say, is that She had a baby, Samuel, and fulfilled her vow to God by giving him to God to serve at the Temple under Eli. But, let me see if I can offer some application.

1) Our suffering as a believer is never in vain. Hannah’s wasn’t, Christ’s certainly wasn’t, and neither is yours’. Are you suffering? Are you going through heartache? How do you deal with it? By coming to an understanding that God has a purpose for the suffering. By knowing in your head that God is to be praised in the midnight because He is still God in the midnight and letting that truth affect your emotions. In other words, it’s all about God and not us. It’s His Glory that is at stake in this world and it will not be compromised. That doesn’t mean “putting on a happy face” and “thinking positively.” It means being honest with God. If you’re angry, tell Him you’re angry. If you’re sad, tell Him you’re sad. Then ask him for forgiveness for making it about you and ask Him to give you a passion for His Glory that surpasses your own circumstances.
2) The place to unload your burdens is at the place of worship. For us, that means here with other believers where God specially manifests His presence. It doesn’t mean that you can’t do this at home or in the car or on a lunch break. In fact, it’s good to focus on God at these places including what you’re going through. But, God has designed Sunday mornings as a place where we draw nourishment from his spiritual body manifested in physical bodies corporately worshipping Him. It’s a means of Grace, so why wouldn’t you use it.
3) Be careful in your distress that you don’t make vow or promise you don’t mean to keep. We’re prone to negotiate with God. “God if you’ll just, then I’ll. . .” A guy I went to high school went that partied a lot, had a brain aneurysm a year or so after we graduated. He told everyone how he’d changed his life and was going to live for God now. Within a year he was back to where he was in high school. I’m not sure what his current status is right now, but my point is we want out of the pain so bad, we’re willing to say anything to relieve the pressure, because we’re emotionally overloaded. Do not do this! If you make a vow, keep it!

No room for complaining (or "The Return of Haley's Comet" for Chuck)

I always am complaining. Not necessarily verbally, but in my head, I always find it difficult to stay in a state of contentment. Especially at work. The life of a car salesman is not easy. I get to work between 8:15 and 8:30 and unlock the gate and building, get cars out on the grass and try to eat some dry mini wheats before everyone else gets there. I try to send some emails from one of our customer internet lead managers as they are time sensitive in the hope that they may respond and it's not some 12 year old wasting time on the internet looking at cars. Keep in mind that every lead counts as a percentage of cars sold during the month whether or not the person is a buyer or not. It gets frustrating to say the least.

The bad part is that Missy and I have always been taken care of financially. It's been more than tight, but God has been providing for us, especailly in the last few months. In June I sold 25 cars. That's the most cars sold and the most money made I've ever done in a month. God was gracious to me and I was overwhelmed. I started thinking that I've got this whole dependence thing down to a science. That I wasn't going to worry, fret, or complain about money or my sales anymore. That is until I went the first 7 days of July and didn't sell a single car! Seven days without a sale may not seem like much, but it's kinda like dog years. One week is like a month. On top of that I had numerous car and van repairs that had to be done. So there I went again, getting my bowels in an uproar (I would say "panties in a wad", but that really sounds unmasculine) and forgetting my dependence on my Sovereign. The month ended with 17 cars out in 3 weeks. But it was hard to really feel deserving of that feat. Especailly when I didn't trust for the first 3 weeks of the month.

I also complain about customers. Now I know that because I'm a car salesman, I'm ranked just under lawyers on the trustworthy career ladder. I'm automatically a liar and a scam artist. Just yesterday another salesman asked me a product question about a window sticker. Seemed a feature to a truck was listed on the sticker, but wasn't actually on the truck. I looked at his customer dead in the eye and said it was a misprint. Because I actually thought it was. When the salesman and the customer realized it wasn't a misprint, but that that feature had been taken off as a standard feature and replaced with an upgrade, do you know what the customer said? "Man, I didn't think for a second that that guy (me) was a typical used car salesman. He looked me right at me with all confidence and told me that junk. And I believed him!" The point? He thought I was simply doing what car salesmen do. . . purposely lying! He didn't even consider that I made a mistake. Nope, I was just lying. So I've learned to live with that fact.
I had another customer that took 3, count them 3, hours of my time (one of those hours was after we'd already closed) and didn't buy a car! They say we're theives and liars, but these people wanted a car for half price and said that they'd buy from me. Like I said frustration is a part of the lifestyle.

But if I hold to the theology that I claim to belive in, then none of that should really matter. If I believe that God is totally and completely in control of every molecule that exist and every inclination of every man and woman's mind and heart, then I have no room to be mad or frustrated or depressed or to complain. Job said that God does great things, he brings the rain. If I wrote down everything it takes for a drop of moisture from the Mediterranian Sea 300 miles to a farmer in the form of a drop of rain, that wouldn't seem like a mundane statement. So there I sit at a car lot day in and day out, the bottomless abyss of depravity, sulking like a pouty 5 year old. God still decides to pull me through and bless me. I trust and then go right back into the spiral of disbelief and self centeredness. Very frustrating. Almost laughable if it wasn't so sinful.

The Biggest Lamenter

Missy and I like to watch The Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights. It's amazing the transformations these people go through in a matter of a few months. Like most reality shows, there's lots of drama and lots of tears to go around.

This season however, there has been an over abundance of liquid from the eyes. Now this wouldn't be worth mentioning if it was mainly the women doing most of the crying. But the men on this season have won the prize for being the most girl like.

I'm not trying to be sexist here. I believe that men should be strong and sensitive at the same time. There are times that it's ok for a man to cry. As a matter of fact there are times when men should cry. But for Pete's sake, give me a break. These "Susans" are turning on the water works when they have to vote on eliminating someone from a COMPETITION!!! I mean, what do I tell my son, who I am trying to teach to be masculine in the fullest sense of the word, when these guys cry more than the women! And they're crying over someone leaving the Biggest Loser Campus, or the fact that they miss their families, or that someone on their team can't do a dead lift, or that they miss their snacks, or they want a soda, or that they slipped on their diet and ate a Twinkie. It makes me so mad I could just cry. . . uh, I mean. . . well. . . it makes me so mad I could just smash something!

But maybe I'm being too hard on these men. I mean they are working out 3 to 4 hours a day. The main comfort they've had so far in life, namely food, has been stripped away from them. They probably do miss their wife, kids, friends, and video games in the case of one 21 year old who still lives with his mom. You know, I feel bad now. I. . . I guess I'm just taking out something my parents did or didn't do for me when I was a kid. I'm not sure if my dad ever told me he loved me know that I think about it. I. . . Oh, I can't belive it, ok, now I'm crying!

It won't stop! The saline continually leaks from my ocular cavities! I'm sorry guys of The Biggest Loser. I understand now. I, I think I'll get my blanket, curl up on the couch with a Janet Oake novel, and afterwards, I'll go and plant some pansies to take my mind off of my insensitivites and the problems of these brave, brave men.

Resurrection Day

Today is the best day of the year. Today is the day we celebrate the fulfilling of Isaiah 53.



1 Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been
revealed?

2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him , nothing in his appearance that
we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with
suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we
esteemed him not.

4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him
stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the
punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are
healed.

6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and
LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like
a lamb to the slaughter, asn as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did
not open his mouth.

8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his
descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the
transgression of my people he was stricken.

9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though
he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the
LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his
days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

11 After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his
knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their
iniquities.

12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils
with the strong, because he poured out his file unto death, and was numbered
with the transgressor. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession
for the transgressors.


This is one of the greatest chapters in all of Scripture! God was pleased to crush His own Son and to number him with the transgressor. That's me!!! And He numbered him with the transgressor so that he could make intercession for the transgressor. That's me too!!! Christ became all of the diseased part of my hardened heart. He became everything that I am so that I could be everything that He is. There is no single thing in this world that deserves a celebration more than that fact! How I trample on this great truth of freedom every day by not living in that truth. However, the fact that I fail to have joy and freedom in this truth every second of my life is over shadowed by another great truth from Scripture. . . "But God."

These two words sum up our helpless state. I am a transgressor, but God has sent His only Son to bare my transgressions and give me a robe of righteousness. I continually transgress His Law, but God raised His Son from the dead to continually make intercession for me. I drift from his word and get carried away by the distractions of life, but God works in my heart, soul, and mind to restore me.

Now that's hope!

Happy Resurrection Day!

It's 2am so I think I'll Blog

It's 2 am on saturday morning and I can't sleep. I need to sleep, as I have T minus 5 hours until I have to get up for work. But my mind won't shut off or shut up. I'm thinking about our finances or lack there of. I'm concerned about the fact i've been sick all week and I have to sing this sunday morning and my sinuses are closed. I'm wrestling with the struggle of liking to be in the spotlight and needing to have the mindset to minister with singing which is an opportunity God gives me from time to time. I really hate my ego! Couple that with the fact that i haven't really spent anytime this week utilizing the means of grace that God affords his people and i'm supposed to teach sunday school and "minister" in song this sunday. I really hate my laziness! I really need to sell 3 cars tomorrow in order to get what is called in the car business as "a hat trick." Have no idea where that comes from, but it means a cash in hand bounus and it'll put me at 16 cars for the month which means another bonus on my paycheck on the 30th plus any commissions i might get. I really hate my stressing out about things i can't completely control! I haven't spent any quality time with my wife or any of my kids because i've been to mentally wiped out and physically sick all week. I really hate my selfishness!

Oh well, I'm glad that i'm starting to yawn. Maybe I can get a 5 hour power nap and when I wake up, the sun will be shining, the birds will be singing, my cold will be gone, i'll have $20,000 in the bank, i'll be able to hit any high tenor note that i want, my selfish impulses will be stripped away, and i'll go to the park tomorrow night with Missy and the kids where we'll laugh and run and . . . wait, isn't it supposed to be 20 degrees tomorrow with rain and sleet forecasted all day?

I really hate winter time!

Hopeless

This past week has been an emotional one. I've seen my wife weeping at the thought of Sherry Burgess finding her 2 year old son lifeless in their family swimming pool. I've seen my entire church family surround a lady that is very dear to us in prayer as she faced surgery this week to remove a 2 inch brain tumor the doctors recently found. I listened to the story of a friend as she told me how she was once in lockdown on a mental ward a few years ago and some of the struggles her family went through. And through all of this I've seen the barbaric, cold and painful world we live in.

How does one cope with life? Why does one cope with life? Where is there even an ember of hope that tells us to hold on? What is there to ground us to any prospect of a life worth living? Is it in our own strength, as the atheist would propose? Tell that to my friend that was locked up because she was painting pictures in her own blood. This woman is one of the strongest people I've ever known. She's courageous, independent, and is one of those people who can make things happen when she sets her mind to it. I respected and loved her before, I do so more even now. Her strength failed her. Her courage left and her Independence did her no good as she threw her body against a door with only a 4 inch window to look out of. If her strength failed, then we don't have a chance.

What about security in finances? Is that it? Right now our economy is spiraling downward into recession. Political heads try to fix the problem, but it's a band aid really. If it fixes it at all. Things will get better, then they'll get worse again, and so the circle goes on and on.

Can we find it in the leaders of government? 9/11 pretty much nixed that idea. As terrorism continues to grow and spread, how can we feel safe when our own government couldn't stop over 5,000 people from burning alive as mounds of concrete and steel crushed the breath out of their bodies. My sister and brother-in-law are in Kenya facing the threat of a civil war arising from government power plays. There is no security and hope for their 3 little girls in that government.

This week has been an emotional one. I have seen all these things and I have seen the beauty and glory of God through Christ this week. I have been reassured that the only sanity we have is in HIM! Hebrews says the gospel is an anchor for our souls. The psalms say that God is a refuge. It's not pie-in-the-sky religious nonsense. All the positive thinking in the world can't save you from the monstrosity that is this life. We are not safe from the consequences of sin in this world. We have only two options, to fall on the Cornerstone and be broken leaving all of our strength, money, and pseudo-hold on reality, or have the Cornerstone fall on us and be crushed and doomed. John Piper says that the reason we have suffering is so that Christ could suffer. That the reason we have pain is so Christ could feel pain. And that the reason we have death is so that Christ could die and be raised again to show His people that He has conquered these things. I pray that God's people would run to the refuge and not stand outside in the tornado thinking that they can do it on their own. I pray that we, like the deer, would pant for God as the enemy pursues us. That we would drink, lest we die.

Spice Girls

If the plural of mouse is mice, then I think (if I can enter a sort of deconstructionist mode here) that the plural of spouse should be spice. If we're talking about wives that is. Now this post isn't going to really be in line with the theme of my last one and it may venture down a
quasi-sentimental avenue. So please bare with me.

Over the past ten years I have literally met tens of thousands of couples with my jobs as a photographer and a car salesman. I have seen emasculated men who have a over, over, OVER bearing wife to very dominate bull headed men with a "I'm a major interstate and I live for people to run all over me" passive wife. As human beings, we learn by comparisons. I learned early on not to touch a hot stove, because I had touched the stove when it was off. The comparison to the feel of that stove when it was on to when it was off taught me a very valuable lesson! I think my encounters with couples over the last decade is why I love and adore my wife so much.

Missy is honestly the spice to my life. The very awesome (and some times complicated) thing about that is, she can be different spices at different times. Sometimes she's salt, she cleans out negative thoughts from my mind and attitude, and partners with me to help me preserve my walk with God. Other times she's Chamomile (I know that's technically an herb, but hang on a sec.), she sits and talks with me after a long frustrating day at work which relaxes me. Then, she can be cayenne pepper, she can get me so hot and bothered (now, this can be taken several ways and all of them apply so I'll leave it at that!). Sometimes it's ground black pepper, my favorite seasoning. It's a stable, a standard, something reliable that I know is always there which grounds me to reality.

I'm not a cook, so I don't really know alot of other spices, but I think you get the point. I've not met alot of women like my wife. I'm not saying she is the standard and the model of Proverbs 31, but I think she comes pretty dang close. She puts up with all the crap that makes up the person I am and she still chooses to stick around and love me. I find an incredible amount of comfort that the reason she is faithful to me is not because of her love for me, but for her love for Christ! Trust me on this, if she had no real commitment to God, then she would have been long gone! I thank God for her everyday and I challenge all women out there to be spice for their husbands, even when they don't deserve someone as gracious and loving and committed as you, be that woman anyway. And I challenge all men out there to enjoy every aspect of their wives, mood swings and all, and think about how dull and boring and tasteless your life would be if they weren't there laying beside you every night when you went to bed!

Of Kitchen Tables and Blacksmithing

Well, I suppose I could consider my first post a success. If you count the number of people that commented. Thank you all for your support (you like me, you really like me!). I actually think I might like this blogging thing. Especially if it opens up dialogues. I love dialogues. I don't have many since most of the people I work with aren't really into ontological universals or the nature of reality. I enjoy kitchen table philosophy and I like "iron sharpening iron". Kitchen table philosophy may be defined as non-professional philosophers sitting and discussing ideas or beliefs that could lead to illogical or irrational conclusions. Or it may be defined as a bunch of self centered egomaniacs justifying their actions by what they "feel" is right or wrong, valid or invalid.

Iron sharpening iron is a violent act. I mean think about it. When a blacksmith makes a sword, he doesn't cuddle up next to this unformed shard of metal and gently strokes it with his hand saying,"You sweet unformed sword. You're just so cute and lovely. I know you're dull and rough around the edges, but you're really shiny and sharp as a razor. I'll just try and give you all the warm fuzzy feelings I can." NO! He takes it, puts it in a fire until it's red hot and then smacks the crap out of it with a big metal mallet! Then he puts it up to a rock wheel that goes around really fast and files away the edges until it's sharp enough to cut a man's head off!

The cool thing is that the piece of metal can take it! It doesn't whine that it's feelings are hurt or that the blacksmith is being insensitive. It takes what coming from the smithy so that it can be formed and used for the purpose it's being created for.

My point is that we should sit around the kitchen table and talk about God and the beliefs we hold dear about our theology and smack each other around with what Scripture actually says. I love it and I think it's the most loving thing we can do for each other. We don't have to do it in such a way that we walk away crying and hating the other person for it, we can be excited and rejoice that we have the opportunity to aid each other in this fashion. There are plenty of people out there that will give you all the soft fuzzies you want, they'll also send you straight to hell by watering down the Gospel or hinder your walk by not giving a clear and distinct view of God.

I learned this lesson by a former roommate of mine. Man, he pissed me off more times that I can possibly count. But, because he did, I gained a stronger view of this faith God had given me.

So, let's do just that. Let's not agree just for the sake of a false peace with each other. Heck, let's not even agree to disagree. Let's get down to the bare knuckles of our faith and strengthen each other for the sake of encouragement so that Christ may be exalted and God glorified in our lives.

'Nuff said.

P.S. I really think I'm going to like this blogging thing!

My First Time

Ok. . . I've done it! I have finally caved in to peer pressure (mostly from my wife) and started a blog. I have absolutely no idea what the purpose of this blog is going to be (sorry Rick Warren), but I figured I'd go ahead and give it a try. So for my first post I think I'll write about posting. Why in the world do we try to put some of our intimate thoughts on the WORLD WIDE WEB for everyone to view, critique, and scrutinize?! I mean. . . I know how I do when I read an article or any kind of journal entry and here I am making myself vulnerable for anyone who wants to, to blast me out of the water on any worldview or opinion I have! I sell cars and I have to take rejection several times a day every day. So what's the logical way to deal with that rejection? Oh, I know, I'll start a blog where someone can lamblast my views or whatever, or worse not comment at all! That sounds about right doesn't it?

So, here you go world! Have at thee! Shatter my ever fragile emotional state with your sledgehammer of rejection and cruelity! Or just say hello, whatever strikes your fancy! I'll just go and read "Your Best Life Now" and feel better about myself.

Happy Blogging!