My Hatred of God

"If you love Me, you will keep My commandments." -- John 14:15

The only thing I remember from my Geometry teacher, Ms. Cappell, was if/then statements.

This was the only class I ever got an F in. And anyone from my high school can empathize with me. She was the toughest teacher there (or I'm convinced anywhere).

If/then statements have helped me define the world. It's really simple logic. If one thing holds true, then something else flows from that truth that holds true also. It's not the only kind of logic, but it's basic and simple.

It's also easy to see the negative side of things when using these statements. If the 'then' statement falls short, then the 'if' part of it is proven false. For example, if I am bald, then I have no hair. So it's implied that if I have hair, then I can't be bald (let's leave weaves and toupees out of the equation please).

A lot of Jesus' statements He made were if/then. And they're great to read if we skim over them without the negative side hitting us in the stomach.

If I love Him, then I'll keep His commandments.

If I don't keep His commandments, then. . .

Do I have the honesty with myself to actually finish that statement? Can I bear the reality of it?

If I'm am to seek truth in my life and I believe that Scripture is the ultimate source of truth in all of creation, then I have to finish it. Then I don't love Him.

Can I say I love Him when:

* I neglect my wife and kids for something "more important"

* I am impatient with people who may be less mature

* I don't love my wife as my own body

* I don't love my neighbor as myself (or even know their names)

* I don't put my mind, strength, and heart into worship

* I neglect my body with excesses

* I get frustrated with Pharisaical people in Christendom

I would have to say the answer is no. Psalm 63:3 says, "Because the loving kindness of God is better than life, my lips will praise you." So if the loving kindness of God is better than life, then it's better than anything life has to offer. So when I choose other things over His loving kindness, then I'm, in reality, showing my hatred for Him. My disdain for His glory. My rebellion towards His will and my self-glorification. I'm showing what a wretched creature I really am. I'm proving that there is a part of me that really desires to be under His wrath for eternity because I want no part of Him.

This is more severe than "no one is perfect." It goes beyond the realm of "God still loves me and He understands." This isn't bumper sticker theology. It's a hatred for His word. Man, that's hard. But I don't see where Christ gives us any other option. Love or hate. Obedience or rebellion. I can't seem to find the grey area. I can justify it. Oh, believe me, the past few years of selling cars has taught me how to justify things. That's what selling is. Justifying why someone should own your product. And I've seen it abused to rip people off. I've seen people 'justify' why they should take on more debt than they can possibly afford in order to buy something. And I've seen the biggest salesmen in the world in the church. Justifying their feelings over Scripture. Justifying their traditions over Christ-centered worship. Justifying their hatred for God. And I feel like I'm chief among them.

That's why my dependence on Christ has got to be central. That's why I have to fight for the joy that pours from Him like a massive river and not a stagnant trough. That's why I have to run, like a deer that's about to be killed by pursuing hunters, to the cross. It's all I've got.

And if it's all I've got, then I'd be a fool not to stay under it.