It's 2am so I think I'll Blog

It's 2 am on saturday morning and I can't sleep. I need to sleep, as I have T minus 5 hours until I have to get up for work. But my mind won't shut off or shut up. I'm thinking about our finances or lack there of. I'm concerned about the fact i've been sick all week and I have to sing this sunday morning and my sinuses are closed. I'm wrestling with the struggle of liking to be in the spotlight and needing to have the mindset to minister with singing which is an opportunity God gives me from time to time. I really hate my ego! Couple that with the fact that i haven't really spent anytime this week utilizing the means of grace that God affords his people and i'm supposed to teach sunday school and "minister" in song this sunday. I really hate my laziness! I really need to sell 3 cars tomorrow in order to get what is called in the car business as "a hat trick." Have no idea where that comes from, but it means a cash in hand bounus and it'll put me at 16 cars for the month which means another bonus on my paycheck on the 30th plus any commissions i might get. I really hate my stressing out about things i can't completely control! I haven't spent any quality time with my wife or any of my kids because i've been to mentally wiped out and physically sick all week. I really hate my selfishness!

Oh well, I'm glad that i'm starting to yawn. Maybe I can get a 5 hour power nap and when I wake up, the sun will be shining, the birds will be singing, my cold will be gone, i'll have $20,000 in the bank, i'll be able to hit any high tenor note that i want, my selfish impulses will be stripped away, and i'll go to the park tomorrow night with Missy and the kids where we'll laugh and run and . . . wait, isn't it supposed to be 20 degrees tomorrow with rain and sleet forecasted all day?

I really hate winter time!

Hopeless

This past week has been an emotional one. I've seen my wife weeping at the thought of Sherry Burgess finding her 2 year old son lifeless in their family swimming pool. I've seen my entire church family surround a lady that is very dear to us in prayer as she faced surgery this week to remove a 2 inch brain tumor the doctors recently found. I listened to the story of a friend as she told me how she was once in lockdown on a mental ward a few years ago and some of the struggles her family went through. And through all of this I've seen the barbaric, cold and painful world we live in.

How does one cope with life? Why does one cope with life? Where is there even an ember of hope that tells us to hold on? What is there to ground us to any prospect of a life worth living? Is it in our own strength, as the atheist would propose? Tell that to my friend that was locked up because she was painting pictures in her own blood. This woman is one of the strongest people I've ever known. She's courageous, independent, and is one of those people who can make things happen when she sets her mind to it. I respected and loved her before, I do so more even now. Her strength failed her. Her courage left and her Independence did her no good as she threw her body against a door with only a 4 inch window to look out of. If her strength failed, then we don't have a chance.

What about security in finances? Is that it? Right now our economy is spiraling downward into recession. Political heads try to fix the problem, but it's a band aid really. If it fixes it at all. Things will get better, then they'll get worse again, and so the circle goes on and on.

Can we find it in the leaders of government? 9/11 pretty much nixed that idea. As terrorism continues to grow and spread, how can we feel safe when our own government couldn't stop over 5,000 people from burning alive as mounds of concrete and steel crushed the breath out of their bodies. My sister and brother-in-law are in Kenya facing the threat of a civil war arising from government power plays. There is no security and hope for their 3 little girls in that government.

This week has been an emotional one. I have seen all these things and I have seen the beauty and glory of God through Christ this week. I have been reassured that the only sanity we have is in HIM! Hebrews says the gospel is an anchor for our souls. The psalms say that God is a refuge. It's not pie-in-the-sky religious nonsense. All the positive thinking in the world can't save you from the monstrosity that is this life. We are not safe from the consequences of sin in this world. We have only two options, to fall on the Cornerstone and be broken leaving all of our strength, money, and pseudo-hold on reality, or have the Cornerstone fall on us and be crushed and doomed. John Piper says that the reason we have suffering is so that Christ could suffer. That the reason we have pain is so Christ could feel pain. And that the reason we have death is so that Christ could die and be raised again to show His people that He has conquered these things. I pray that God's people would run to the refuge and not stand outside in the tornado thinking that they can do it on their own. I pray that we, like the deer, would pant for God as the enemy pursues us. That we would drink, lest we die.

Spice Girls

If the plural of mouse is mice, then I think (if I can enter a sort of deconstructionist mode here) that the plural of spouse should be spice. If we're talking about wives that is. Now this post isn't going to really be in line with the theme of my last one and it may venture down a
quasi-sentimental avenue. So please bare with me.

Over the past ten years I have literally met tens of thousands of couples with my jobs as a photographer and a car salesman. I have seen emasculated men who have a over, over, OVER bearing wife to very dominate bull headed men with a "I'm a major interstate and I live for people to run all over me" passive wife. As human beings, we learn by comparisons. I learned early on not to touch a hot stove, because I had touched the stove when it was off. The comparison to the feel of that stove when it was on to when it was off taught me a very valuable lesson! I think my encounters with couples over the last decade is why I love and adore my wife so much.

Missy is honestly the spice to my life. The very awesome (and some times complicated) thing about that is, she can be different spices at different times. Sometimes she's salt, she cleans out negative thoughts from my mind and attitude, and partners with me to help me preserve my walk with God. Other times she's Chamomile (I know that's technically an herb, but hang on a sec.), she sits and talks with me after a long frustrating day at work which relaxes me. Then, she can be cayenne pepper, she can get me so hot and bothered (now, this can be taken several ways and all of them apply so I'll leave it at that!). Sometimes it's ground black pepper, my favorite seasoning. It's a stable, a standard, something reliable that I know is always there which grounds me to reality.

I'm not a cook, so I don't really know alot of other spices, but I think you get the point. I've not met alot of women like my wife. I'm not saying she is the standard and the model of Proverbs 31, but I think she comes pretty dang close. She puts up with all the crap that makes up the person I am and she still chooses to stick around and love me. I find an incredible amount of comfort that the reason she is faithful to me is not because of her love for me, but for her love for Christ! Trust me on this, if she had no real commitment to God, then she would have been long gone! I thank God for her everyday and I challenge all women out there to be spice for their husbands, even when they don't deserve someone as gracious and loving and committed as you, be that woman anyway. And I challenge all men out there to enjoy every aspect of their wives, mood swings and all, and think about how dull and boring and tasteless your life would be if they weren't there laying beside you every night when you went to bed!

Of Kitchen Tables and Blacksmithing

Well, I suppose I could consider my first post a success. If you count the number of people that commented. Thank you all for your support (you like me, you really like me!). I actually think I might like this blogging thing. Especially if it opens up dialogues. I love dialogues. I don't have many since most of the people I work with aren't really into ontological universals or the nature of reality. I enjoy kitchen table philosophy and I like "iron sharpening iron". Kitchen table philosophy may be defined as non-professional philosophers sitting and discussing ideas or beliefs that could lead to illogical or irrational conclusions. Or it may be defined as a bunch of self centered egomaniacs justifying their actions by what they "feel" is right or wrong, valid or invalid.

Iron sharpening iron is a violent act. I mean think about it. When a blacksmith makes a sword, he doesn't cuddle up next to this unformed shard of metal and gently strokes it with his hand saying,"You sweet unformed sword. You're just so cute and lovely. I know you're dull and rough around the edges, but you're really shiny and sharp as a razor. I'll just try and give you all the warm fuzzy feelings I can." NO! He takes it, puts it in a fire until it's red hot and then smacks the crap out of it with a big metal mallet! Then he puts it up to a rock wheel that goes around really fast and files away the edges until it's sharp enough to cut a man's head off!

The cool thing is that the piece of metal can take it! It doesn't whine that it's feelings are hurt or that the blacksmith is being insensitive. It takes what coming from the smithy so that it can be formed and used for the purpose it's being created for.

My point is that we should sit around the kitchen table and talk about God and the beliefs we hold dear about our theology and smack each other around with what Scripture actually says. I love it and I think it's the most loving thing we can do for each other. We don't have to do it in such a way that we walk away crying and hating the other person for it, we can be excited and rejoice that we have the opportunity to aid each other in this fashion. There are plenty of people out there that will give you all the soft fuzzies you want, they'll also send you straight to hell by watering down the Gospel or hinder your walk by not giving a clear and distinct view of God.

I learned this lesson by a former roommate of mine. Man, he pissed me off more times that I can possibly count. But, because he did, I gained a stronger view of this faith God had given me.

So, let's do just that. Let's not agree just for the sake of a false peace with each other. Heck, let's not even agree to disagree. Let's get down to the bare knuckles of our faith and strengthen each other for the sake of encouragement so that Christ may be exalted and God glorified in our lives.

'Nuff said.

P.S. I really think I'm going to like this blogging thing!

My First Time

Ok. . . I've done it! I have finally caved in to peer pressure (mostly from my wife) and started a blog. I have absolutely no idea what the purpose of this blog is going to be (sorry Rick Warren), but I figured I'd go ahead and give it a try. So for my first post I think I'll write about posting. Why in the world do we try to put some of our intimate thoughts on the WORLD WIDE WEB for everyone to view, critique, and scrutinize?! I mean. . . I know how I do when I read an article or any kind of journal entry and here I am making myself vulnerable for anyone who wants to, to blast me out of the water on any worldview or opinion I have! I sell cars and I have to take rejection several times a day every day. So what's the logical way to deal with that rejection? Oh, I know, I'll start a blog where someone can lamblast my views or whatever, or worse not comment at all! That sounds about right doesn't it?

So, here you go world! Have at thee! Shatter my ever fragile emotional state with your sledgehammer of rejection and cruelity! Or just say hello, whatever strikes your fancy! I'll just go and read "Your Best Life Now" and feel better about myself.

Happy Blogging!